MY SURGERY

   My maternal grandma told me many times about the story of how I got burned accidentally when I was a baby.

   She took care of me from the time I was born until I was four years old. My family was poor so we couldn't pay for electricity. We usually used oil lamps at night. She always put the oil lamp on the head of my bed while I was sleeping. That night, my parents worked overtime and everyone went out except me and my grandma. After she had fed me and let me fall asleep on my bed, she put the oil lamp the same place she always did, then she went to take a shower. Suddenly, I turned around and my left hand touched the oil lamp. It fell and burned my left hand. I cried so hard. My grandma heard me crying, she knew something was wrong, so she put her clothes on quickly and ran toward me. She was frightened when she saw my hand on fire. Then she took the blanket off the bed to cover me and brought me to the hospital immediately.

I was burned by this oil lamp.

   I was lucky because my face and body weren't burned except my finger shrunk and the skin of my left hand was wrinkled like an old women's skin. At that time, the doctor said I was too young to do surgery, so I had to grow up with that scar.

   When I was a child, I didn't mind or feel bad whenever the teasers who were my classmates laughed and annoyed me. However, my feeling was changed when I became a teenager. I felt bad, got mad at people who teased me, and I was afraid to answer the same question " What happened to your left hand ?", so I became quiet, shy and wasn't confident in public. I tried to hide my left hand whenever I saw strangers.

   Afetr my father passed away, I lived with my Aunt who is my Mom's oldest sister in Vietnam before I came here. She paid attention to me and knew my feeling, so she told my Grandma and Mom who had been in the U.S. about that. Then my Grandma decided to give me money to get surgery for my hand and my Aunt took me to the hospital to have it done.

The hospital which I did surgery

   I remember I had to stay in the hospital five days. I was operated on Sunday morning, but I needed to go to the hospital the day before for the nurse to check everything about my health. They suggested  that I stopped eating and drinking about ten hours before the operation.

   Next morning, I put on the hospital gown and laid on the bed. Then the nurse came to give me an injection in my underarm on the left side. After ten minutes, my left arm started to get numb and I couldn't control it. About 30 minutes later, my surgeon came in with two nurses. The nurse prepared me with an IV in my forearm and asked me some questions, then I was asleep a few minutes after by the anesthetic.

   When I woke up, everything was done. I felt frozen because I was laying in the room with the air- conditioner. I was scared and cried because I hadn't seen anyone, including my aunt. Then the nurse came and helped me to move to the other room where my Aunt was waiting for me.

   I was still under the anesthetic so I didn't feel pain. After many hours, I started feeling the pain, but the nurse gave me some medicines to help me calm down. My index finger was bandaged and the nurse cleaned it everyday. They let me go home when my wound was better, and I went back after two weeks for them to check it.

  After the surgery, my finger is a little straighter, but it still isn't straight like other fingers. The doctor said my bone was dead, so they couldn't make it to look natural.

   Although my hand still doesn't look beautiful, it is the perfect hand for me and I am satisfied with it.

MY TRIP TO CANADA

This is The Niagara Falls in Buffalo, Canada

   A week between New Years 2014 and Christmas, I went to Canada with my aunt, grandma and cousin by car.
   We didn't plan for that trip at all. I was surprised by my aunt. I remember that day, she came to my work and asked me to go Canada at that moment. I thought she was kidding with me because I didn't hear any plans from her before, but she wasn't. She told me to ask my boss to take a couple days off. Then we went home to pack some clothes and left about 3:00 PM.
   We didn't know how to get to Canada, so my aunt had to call her friend to ask for the address. I entered the address in the GPS and off we went.
   After seven hours of driving, she stopped at the gas station to fill gas and bought some foods for dinner. Then she tried to drive four more hours to get to the frontier between USA and Canada to find a hotel which was on the USA side. We checked in the hotel around 2:00 AM. We took a shower and slept until 8:00 AM. We had breakfast at the hotel and started planning then. We wanted to have lunch in China Town in Toronto, Canada first because it was farther than Niagara Falls. Then we would be coming back to Niagara Falls to stay overnight in a hotel and then went leave the next day. We checked out about 10:00 AM. I asked the girl who was a receptionist in the hotel how to get to Toronto and she gave me a map to get there.
   We left the hotel and got to Toronto three hours later. We enjoyed delicious foods in a Vietnamese restaurant, bought some foods and sandwiches to go.

  This is China Town in Toronto, Canada

 My aunt took a picture in the front of Vietnamese restaurant.

 We drove back to Niagara Falls about 3:00 PM. On the way, we ate food and were worried about the hotel. It was  the weekend so we thought people would travel a lot, but we hadn't booked hotel before we went. However, we were so lucky because it didn't take us a long time to find the hotel which is near to the fall.

                                          My grandma and aunt ate food in the car

   After checking, we rushed to go out to see the falls before the sunset. It was so cold when we walked near the fall, but the spectacular view of the fall made us forget  the cold and tiredness. We kept walking toward the end of the fall and took lots of pictures. We stopped at a souvenir shop for tourists and I bought some stuff for my sisters and friends.

I took picture at the fall.

Me and my cousin

My grandma and I

Me and my aunt 

The end of the fall.

   We walked far away from the hotel and all of us were tired so we got back to the hotel by taxi. We ate the sandwiches which we bought from China Town for our dinner. Then we told my grandma to take a shower and rest. My aunt took me and my cousin to the game area to play. That was a long day for us so everyone fell to sleep quickly.
  Next morning, we planned to eat breakfast in Skylon Tower restaurant where they is the best view of Niagara Falls. We made a reservation for 10:00 AM at Skylon, so we needed to check out an hour earlier to get there.

Skylon Tower and Yellow Bug Elevator

Skylon Tower at night.

   We took a funny picture at the photo shop while we were waiting in the line to go up to the Skylon. The Skylon is 775 feet tall above the falls and it takes 52 seconds to reach to the top by "Yellow Bug Elevators". You can see the city skylines of Buffalo, New York and Toronto while you in the elevator.

This funny picture we took at the photo shop

We took this picture in the "Yellow Bug Elevators"

   The Skylon has three floors on the top. On the first floor is a small bar that is only open after 6:00 PM everyday. On the second floor is the restaurant but the time for food service is separated. It has a buffet style from 10:00 AM to 2:00 PM and after that it is turned into a dining room and on the third floor is a souvenir shop and the lobby where people can go out to look at around and take pictures.

I  was in the second floor.

My grandma and cousin.

I took this picture at the lobby.

   We left Canada at noon after we had breakfast in Skylon. My aunt drove straight home, stopping only for gas and food. It took us 12 hours to get home, so we got home about 1:00 AM. Everyone was extremely tired but we had a great time together.                                  

Earliest Memory.

   My earliest memory was at Christmas when I was seven years old. I had no gifts and delicious foods on Christmas, but I had a great time with my father who always gave me the best thing.

   A week before Christmas, I asked my father to buy Santa clothes for me, take me traveling around Saigon which is capital in Vietnam and walk outside the DUC BA Church which is the biggest and oldest Church in Saigon. He promised me he would do that, so I was excited.

    These are the Santa clothes which I wanted my father to buy for me.

 

                                             This is the DUC BA Church in Saigon

   On my mind, I always thought about Christmas and I couldn't wait. My father was tired and angry when I kept asking him the same question repeated many times a day: " Where are my Santa clothes, Daddy?". I was disappointed if  got the answer from him that I needed to be patient until Christmas, so I counted down, day by day.
   Finally, Christmas Eve came. I woke up so early and ran to my father's bedroom to remind him about his promise, but he wasn't in there. I thought he went to buy Santa clothes for me. I was waiting for him until the evening and walked back and forth all day. I saw him riding on his old bicycle far away, I ran toward him and asked him for my clothes. His face was sweaty, I could tell he was very tired, but I didn't care about him. I just wanted to know where my clothes was. He looked at me with hesitant eyes and told me to take a shower, so we could go out. I didn't forget asking where my Santa clothes was. Suddenly, he gave me a tight hug and said: " I'm so sorry, Baby. I wanted to buy you the nice Santa clothes, but I haven't gotten my salary yet and couldn't borrow money to buy it." I was extremely disappoint and badly upset. However, I calmed down when he made another promise. He would buy a big doll for me after he got his salary. Then I went to take a shower and hang out with him.
   We traveled around Saigon on his old bicycle. He let me sit on the seat and he sat behind me. I asked him if I could sit on the back, but he didn't let me because he was worried I would fall or my feet would get stuck inside the wheel.

                             
      My father's old bicycle was similar to this one but a different color.
   
   After traveling around, I was hungry, so he stopped at the pushcart that sold many kinds of food such as bread, sandwiches, juice, water and coffee in front of the zoo. He told me he would take me to the zoo and eat at the good restaurant next time. He bought only a sandwich and a bottle of water. I asked him: "Why do you buy only one, how about you?". He said he wasn't hungry. I was old enough to know he lied to me. I knew he didn't have enough money to buy food for him, so I told him cut half of my sandwich because I couldn't finish it by myself. He told me to eat it. If I was full, he would help me to finish it. I listened to him, but I didn't finish it. I shared with him half of my sandwich and my water, too. That was our dinner on Christmas Eve.

 

These are some  pictures in Saigon on Christmas.

 

   Although, I have gotten a lot of gifts and eaten delicious foods on Christmas since then, but that was my happiest and warmest time with my father.

   

MY 21st BIRTHDAY.

   The day I turned 21 was also the day I had to leave Vietnam to the U.S.A..I dreaded that day was coming.

   I received my Visa on January 2012 to go the U.S.. Then my grandma who is living in America went back to Vietnam to bring me here. I told her let me stay in my country few more months. I wanted to do something before I left. However, she didn't agree with me and bought the ticket for me as soon as she could. Finally, she picked Febuary-1-2012 to depart.
   When she told me about that day, I was extremely upset with her. I asked her " Do you know what Feb.01 is?". She forgot it until I told her that day was  my 21st Birthday. Why do I have to leave exactly on my especial day? She explained to me because she and my mom hadn't seen me awhile, so she wanted to pick me up whenever she could. At that moment, my feeling was complex. I wanted to see my mom soon but I also didn't want to leave my home and all of my friends. Finally, I listened to my grandma to leave on day, so I decided to hold my birthday party before the day I go. It was January.31.2012.
   I celebrated the party at home and hired people to cook. Some of my friends came very early to help me to prepare for the party, and also slept overnight with me to bring me to the airport.

                                       This is my best friends who came very early to help me

This is my Birthday cakes.

   I got two Birthday cakes from my grandma who is my father's mom and my best friend. I got many gift cards and gifts such as a silver ring, a pink dress, other stuffs which I could bring with me and nice flowers. Everyone was excited when the party started. We ate, drank, sang, danced, talked and laughed together. Toward the end, I said thank you to all of them for comming. I told them I will never forget them and will miss them dearly. I started to weep when I saw them looked down and wiped their tears quickly. After crying, we tried to calm down to take some pictures together.Then the party ended. That was a birthday party and also a farewell party.

                                                              This is all my friends

   In the morning, we went to airport by taxi after we had breakfast. When we got there, my grandma and I went inside to check in. After everything was done, we still had time so we went out to say bye. I told myself "Be strong, don't cry and I will be back". My tears dropped down when they took turn to hug and kiss me. I couldn't easily  say something to them. My grandma cried when she saw that actions, but she had to tell me it was time to depart. I wished the time had stopped, but it didn't. I had to go. My Birthday was sad, instead of being joyful.

                                 We didn't forget to take a picture together before I go to check in.

   I thought to myself that was amazing sadness. I left my hometown exactly on my birthday that means I was born again in the U.S.. I got a new life and it means I had to begin everything again. I knew that wasn't going to be easy to do.

THE DAY MY FATHER LEFT US.(05-19-2000)

My father before he got married.

                                                   
   My father passed away in Vietnam when he was 34 years old by liver cancer.

    I still remember that morning, my grandma who is my father's mom woke me up while I was sleeping. She said:" Hanh wake up to see your father's last minutes". I looked at her eyes and saw some tears. Then I jumped out of my bed and ran to my father's room as quickly as I could to see what happened to him. When I got there, I saw him laying down on his bed, his eyes rolled back, his breath was so weak, he couldn't speak because his tongue was hard.
    However, I saw his left hand hung up and kept moving like he tried to tell us something. My grandma knew that, so she sat next to him tried to ask him some questions to make sure he might hear her. She asked him many questions but he looked like he didn't hear anything. Suddenly, my grandma asked him:"Do you want to see your wife, right?". In that time, he couldn't answer but everyone saw his tear roll down on his face. Finally, we knew what he wanted. But we couldn't complete it for him because he and his wife were divorced.
     A few minutes we watched him like that, then my grandma told him let go and he would meet my mom later in heaven. He listened to his mom and was gone at 5:45 am.

                                              He will rest in peace and see everyone in heaven

   I started crying when I saw my grandma shut his eyes, then covered his face by his blanket. She told me to come to give him one last kiss but I didn't because I was scared of ghosts. An  hour later, people who worked at the funeral home came and got him. We couldn't keep him at home because our house to small, had no space for his wake. I was looking at them from behind until their car drove away.
 
   At that time, I was just 9 years old that was the optimism of youth, so I couldn't understand what was the meaning of " DEATH", how to know grief and didn't know I just lost a man who loved me with all his heart.

   About 5:00 pm the same day, It was raining so hard. My grandma took me to the funeral home to prepare everything for his wake. In Vietnam, the custom about wake is totally different from here. The family of the person who passed away must wear white clothes like mourning band, but that depend on how you're related to her or him. I remember, I wore a white dress and hat, but my uncles and aunts only wore a white hat because I was his daughter, so I had to wear a white dress so people who looked at me knew he was my father.

People wear something like this picture

    In my country, the family can stay in the funeral home with the person who passed away. Everyone could come to see him whenever they want. I watched the people who worked in the funeral put on white clothes for my father, covered him with some thick plastics, then put him down in the wood coffin and closed it. After that, I knew my father was inside the coffin ,but I couldn't see him. His wake lasted 3 days before the burial and funeral. A lot of people who knew him brought some flowers and fruits. Some of them gave money to my grandma that is tradition in Vietnam. People usually give money to people who need it.

    The last night before the funeral, so many people came in, they sat down and talked to my family. Some of them sang a song that was my father's favorite song. Some of them cried. Some of them stayed over night and went to funeral together with us.

   My father was buried at 10:00 am in the cemetery near my house in Vietnam, so we had to leave funeral home about 8:30 am. I cried when I saw the coffin lowered into the ground and people cried, too. After we left him in the cemetery and came back home, It was raining again and lasted until at night

   And that was the day, he left us forever but for me, he will always remain in my heart and thoughts.