THE DAY MY FATHER LEFT US.(05-19-2000)

My father before he got married.

                                                   
   My father passed away in Vietnam when he was 34 years old by liver cancer.

    I still remember that morning, my grandma who is my father's mom woke me up while I was sleeping. She said:" Hanh wake up to see your father's last minutes". I looked at her eyes and saw some tears. Then I jumped out of my bed and ran to my father's room as quickly as I could to see what happened to him. When I got there, I saw him laying down on his bed, his eyes rolled back, his breath was so weak, he couldn't speak because his tongue was hard.
    However, I saw his left hand hung up and kept moving like he tried to tell us something. My grandma knew that, so she sat next to him tried to ask him some questions to make sure he might hear her. She asked him many questions but he looked like he didn't hear anything. Suddenly, my grandma asked him:"Do you want to see your wife, right?". In that time, he couldn't answer but everyone saw his tear roll down on his face. Finally, we knew what he wanted. But we couldn't complete it for him because he and his wife were divorced.
     A few minutes we watched him like that, then my grandma told him let go and he would meet my mom later in heaven. He listened to his mom and was gone at 5:45 am.

                                              He will rest in peace and see everyone in heaven

   I started crying when I saw my grandma shut his eyes, then covered his face by his blanket. She told me to come to give him one last kiss but I didn't because I was scared of ghosts. An  hour later, people who worked at the funeral home came and got him. We couldn't keep him at home because our house to small, had no space for his wake. I was looking at them from behind until their car drove away.
 
   At that time, I was just 9 years old that was the optimism of youth, so I couldn't understand what was the meaning of " DEATH", how to know grief and didn't know I just lost a man who loved me with all his heart.

   About 5:00 pm the same day, It was raining so hard. My grandma took me to the funeral home to prepare everything for his wake. In Vietnam, the custom about wake is totally different from here. The family of the person who passed away must wear white clothes like mourning band, but that depend on how you're related to her or him. I remember, I wore a white dress and hat, but my uncles and aunts only wore a white hat because I was his daughter, so I had to wear a white dress so people who looked at me knew he was my father.

People wear something like this picture

    In my country, the family can stay in the funeral home with the person who passed away. Everyone could come to see him whenever they want. I watched the people who worked in the funeral put on white clothes for my father, covered him with some thick plastics, then put him down in the wood coffin and closed it. After that, I knew my father was inside the coffin ,but I couldn't see him. His wake lasted 3 days before the burial and funeral. A lot of people who knew him brought some flowers and fruits. Some of them gave money to my grandma that is tradition in Vietnam. People usually give money to people who need it.

    The last night before the funeral, so many people came in, they sat down and talked to my family. Some of them sang a song that was my father's favorite song. Some of them cried. Some of them stayed over night and went to funeral together with us.

   My father was buried at 10:00 am in the cemetery near my house in Vietnam, so we had to leave funeral home about 8:30 am. I cried when I saw the coffin lowered into the ground and people cried, too. After we left him in the cemetery and came back home, It was raining again and lasted until at night

   And that was the day, he left us forever but for me, he will always remain in my heart and thoughts.